Visiting my sister made me realize I hate my life

Her house feels like a home. Her husband and her are so good together. You can feel the love when you come in this house. They’re good, church going people. My house is tense. My husband is exhausting. I dislike almost everything about him from his excessive use of fowl language to his lack of motivation to get a real job. Every conversation with him turns into an argument because I have to tip toe around him so he doesn’t flip out and call me a bunch of nasty names. I’m 100% financially dependent on his mother as I have no friends or family in this state. We have to live with his mom because he won’t get a real job. I’m trying to start my own business as a newborn photographer but it takes time to build clients and a reputation. I just want to be alone I think. Go to church and be alone. Never date again because statistics say your daughter is 20% more likely to be molested by a step parent than her own father. Everything takes time and I just wish I could feel free to practice my religion and hang a portrait of Jesus in my home. I want to lay in my bed at night and feel relaxed instead of uptight.