I need help

I've been struggling with this since a few month post partum, it has been about a year now. I keep having episodes of anger. Like I get so overwhelmed and stressed until it just builds up and I explode. I can't seem to control it and I can't go more than 2 weeks without it happening. After it happens I get depressed and just want to cry and do nothing, not even eat. Between episodes I'm perfectly fine..happy, calm. I'm so frustrated and defeated. I pray for help and guidance and I try to make sense of it all and find a reason why I've become like this and I just can't. I try to take care of myself and relax but I struggle with it. I take care of everyone before myself and sometimes avoid eating/drinking enough because I'm "too busy". But it honestly seems like that's a way of punishing myself sometimes. It doesn't help that we've been struggling to even buy the minimal of groceries. I also had an early miscarriage recently, and can't help but blame myself because my anger may have caused it. Or because I hiked a few too many miles the day before I miscarried. I know neither of these things caused it because my levels were too low to begin with, but I still blame myself sometimes. But how am I supposed to have another healthy baby when I can't control this emotion? I don't know what to do or who to go to. My husband is so patient and loving but he is lost when it comes to helping me with this. I'm just looking for advice I guess. Someone who has experienced something like this, anyone who could give me some insight as to why I'm such a mess. I'm losing hope that I will ever be normal again.