My son is now 9 months old, but I’ve been thinking back to a comment my mother in law made when he was a newborn. We lived with her when we first brought him home (we have moved since). Like many babies, my son simply hated diaper changes. He cried until the second a new diaper was on and his jammies were zipped back up. So we got home from the hospital and I FINALLY sat down to eat something. I hadn’t ate much since my induction 4-5 days prior. I was just about to eat and my husband changed my sons diaper. He was crying and crying and my mother in law without knocking just opened our bedroom door and looked at me and asked me why it doesn’t break my heart that he’s crying and how I’m just sitting and eating. I said he just hates his diaper being changed and he just got circumcised that morning before we took him home. He’s probably just in discomfort and he’s a freakin 2 day old baby. Of course I felt bad but my husband is more than capable of changing a diaper. My mother in law started telling my husband that she’ll do it for him so he’ll stop crying. My husband said please don’t interfere and he shut the bedroom door. So now I’m thinking back to this because today my son (again, 9 months old now) threw the biggest fit while trying to change his diaper. He just wanted to sit up and play, he didn’t want to lay down. And while I felt bad for him that he was upset, I simply just changed his diaper and got it done as fast as I could so it would be over. But for some reason I’m feeling like am I bad mom for not being like omgggg my poor baby? Like yes of course I feel terrible when he’s crying, but if he needs a diaper change he needs a diaper change. Ill try distracting him with a toy or talking to him but I’m not going to pick him up and cuddle him because he’s upset he needs a diaper change. Like it just needs to be done. Right? Am I supposed to be heart broken over any small fit he has because he can’t get his way? Even as a newborn I still felt awful but he just needs to be cleaned. Then afterwards everything is all better anyways. Idk I just feel like she made me feel like I’m supposed to be devastated every time he cries because to this day when we visit if he cries or fusses she tells me how awful it is and asks me if it makes me want to cry. Like yes, it’s sad he’s upset. But no, I just simply distract/redirect and move on? I understand this is pointless now that it’s been months and I’m sure she meant well because who wants to see a baby cry? It is sad. But her comments always seem like I should be completely heartbroken and devastated. But sometimes, as a SAHM and pregnant again, i more want to rip my hair out then feel devastated that he threw his book off his high chair and wants it back within .2 seconds 😂 I guess it started with that one comment as a newborn and has since then continued to bug me the more she says similar comments