I’ve been dating the same guy for almost 10 years. We’re planning on getting married next year and our love story is cliche because we’re high school sweethearts. We lost our virginity to one another after a year of dating and we’ve had many ups and downs but never like this.

Earlier this year I had surgery and he took off work to take care of me because I had trouble doing daily tasks. One night he was making me dinner and I grabbed his phone because I couldn’t find mine. When I opened his phone, I saw an app called Bazaart? I was curious that he had it because he HATES taking pictures and it was an edit your pics app. My heart shattered. He had nudes of girls I knew! But even worse was that they weren’t their nudes. He had edited the photos to make it look like them and when I checked the date, it said it was from last year. I cried and he slept on the couch for weeks. We stopped having sex and I was heartbroken, but I chose to forgive him because he didn’t actually cheat on me nor did he have any contact with them. We spent that night talking and going through his phone because I was not going to stay with a cheater. It’s been almost 7 months and it still hurts me sometimes. He’s been a lot more attentive to me and ik he’s been trying his best to make it up to me.

He told me that whenever I feel a certain way or need reassurance, to let him know so he can comfort me because he knows he messed up and although he hates talking about it because it makes him hate himself he says that the only feelings he cares about are mine.

It just worries me that one day he’ll have an affair because I’m the only person he’s ever been with. It just makes it even harder for me to think about marriage and whether next year I wanna say yes. I just wanna know does it ever get better? To the point where you rarely ever think about it? Does the love grow, does the relationship? I don’t wanna feel on edge all the time but I feel like 7 months is a lot of time yet I’m still feeling a little hurt. When do you know when it’s time to leave the relationship and move on?