Should I temporarily stop talking to my friend?

Question

I need some advice here, and please no harsh comments, this is a sensitive topic for me
This is going to be a bit long, so I really appreciate anyone who makes it thru. 
I have a friend-  maybe not the greatest friend, but I’ve known her my whole life and I consider her one of my bestfriends.  I am considering cutting her out of my life, because she keeps bringing up her daughters milestones, and comparing her baby to mine and it’s causing a lot of anxiety for me.  
Background-  I have a 2 year old son who was recently diagnosed with autism.  I took the diagnosis probably as bad as i could.  The news literally broke my heart, and I am not in a good place mentally right now.  I feel like once I accept my sons diagnosis, I will be ok, but I’m still processing it, and kind of grieving the life I thought he would have.  I am currently on medication and seeing a therapist 
My daughter is 12 months and my worries have now gone to her.  She seems to be showing a lot of traits my son had, and I am really losing my mind over this, and I feel she may have autism as well.  
My friend has a daughter whose a month younger than mine, and her daughter seems to be advanced, or maybe developing typically, i honestly don’t know.  So she he always sending me videos of her daughter saying new words, and talking about how social and advanced she is.  I am truly happy for her, but at the same time, I am so upset it seems I am going down this path again. I deleted all my social media accounts because something so small, such as a picture of kid pointing to a leaf, is enough to have me crying all day.  
Yes, I know this sounds crazy.  I know I am not well.  
I have basically decided i need to completely shut myself out.  I told my friend I really didn’t want to discuss milestones because my daughter isn’t doing so great and everything is a constant reminder.  She doesn’t seem to get it tho, and keeps asking how many words my daughter has, is she pointing yet is she waving and on and on.  Asking a million questions about her development.  I know she does it for comparison purposes because she keeps telling me how much “better her daughter is than all her nieces and nephews” 
So my question is-  can I stop talking to her temporarily? I don’t want to completely lose her friendship, but at the same time honestly I am too fucked up right now to talk to anyone.  She is someone who I talk to regularly, literally everyday, so I don’t even know how to go about “breaking up” with her.  
I feel like once I can accept my sons diagnosis, and find some kind of peace in my daughters development, I can go back to regular life but right now I am really mentally struggling

Answer

I think you need to be honest with her and say “I love your daughter and I love that she’s excelling however I’m having such a hard time coping with my sons diagnosis that I’m already picking apart my daughters behavior and that’s not fair to her. Going forward I will not discuss milestones because it triggers my anxiety and causes me to spiral. Again, I’m so proud of your daughter and love you guys unconditionally but I have to take care of myself and avoid triggers until I have the skills to correctly process them.” It will take time for her to stop bringing them up but if you just keep repeating “remember this conversation makes me uncomfortable”. If she doesn’t accept that then shes not a great friend.

Answer

You are not wrong for needing to take space for your own mental well being. It sounds like you tried addressing it with her already and she doesn’t understand. Just tell her “I need some space to help myself mentally, please let me reach out to you when I’m ready to be open again.  I value your friendship and don’t want my struggles to come between us”

Answer

Yes, you can temporally take a break & you don’t even have to explain yourself. This honestly sounds very mean of her & she isn’t being a good friend by trying to compare kids. Even if your son didn’t have autism, all kids are different & develop at different rates. It doesn’t mean anyone’s kids are better than the other. Autistic kids can be & are very normal people. I know this is hard for you & I understand why but you have been blessed with two beautiful babies. They’re just different. They’re still kids & they’re still a blessing. You’ll be amazed at the things they accomplish! 
Back to my main point — you should be focused more on your kids anyway. You could slowly just stop talking to her. Stop responding to her messages or “forget” to text her back. If she invites you out somewhere, tell her no or you’re too busy. Make something up. Eventually she’ll ever get the hint or she’ll ask you point blank what’s up. 
You could always just tell her honestly how you’re feeling as well & that you’d just like some time to yourself. That’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay & it’s okay to take breaks from people & take time to yourself. Don’t feel bad for having to do that & putting time into your kids, it’s okay. 
If she’s really your friend, she’ll be supportive & understand that. Good luck 💛

Answer

I’m sorry, I can’t even imagine how difficult that is to cope with. When she selfishly ignored your honest requests, you had every right to cut it off right then. To me, she doesn’t sound like a very good friend in the first place. Unfortunately, yes, cutting her out for a while will likely damage your relationship, but can you honestly say it isn’t already? Do what you need to do for your mental health. When you’re emotionally better, the only thing you can do is try to pick up the sticks. It may work, it may not. 
I’ve gone through infertility, and had to break up with a friend because she kept rubbing her baby/pregnancy in my face. I came to resent her over time and dread having to be in her presence. I don’t regret cutting her out because I realized she wasn’t truly a great friend.

Answer

Yes you can. But I would give her one more chance by telling her that comparing the children isn’t healthy for anyone and you need her to stop. Tell her your mental health already is suffering and you cannot be around someone who is constantly comparing children. If she can’t stop, you will need to cut ties indefinitely.

Answer

Tell her how you feel, it is totally fine to ask for a break, she's just exicted and sharing and might not be aware of how this is making you feel. Right now you got to focus on you and the kids and leave all that other noise outside. Hang in there you got this. 
For what it's worth my niece who is 2 now has always been quite advanced for her age, was walking before she was one and forming words early to. Her sister who is now 1 hasn't even started to show any signs of walking or talking, just makes sounds and happily crawls everywhere. Each child is different & that is ok, they will hit the milestone when it's time and when they are ready.
You are doing great mum!

Should I temporarily stop talking to my friend?

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