Me and my fiancee have been together for 4 years. I have been treating him like a King sexually since the very beggining. I have fulfilled his every fantasy, going beyond things that were comfortable for me (on my own, he never forced me) just to have him be pleased with his sex life. Pleasing a man is something I enjoy doing (please, no judging). Even went as far as multiple daily blowjobs for months at a time.

However. When it came to me, he never did anything. Never showed any interest to please me. If we did have sex, we would start with me giving him a blowjob and he would then just stuck it in me. He would finish quickly and that was it.

I have tried so many things and so many ways to have him do things for me like start slowly or kiss my neck or run his hand on my body (simple things) but he always forgot everything and never did it. If he remembered, then he would do it once then never again (even though I never failed to praise him for his amazingness)...

As a result once I began to realize that he is never interested in sex and only wants blowjobs, he admitted that he isn't into sex. It's not the same sensation as he gets from a blowjob. He has been like this with every other partner in his life.

Well, yeah. Many people prefer oral sex to penetrative sex, however he doesn't do anything for me. I have tried explaining that I too need sex. He keeps promising me oral sex, but always finds an exuse as to not do it. I get 5 minutes of oral twice a year.

We have 5 minutes of sex once a month.

I don't know what to do anymore. He has been the one promising me to change and telling me how much he loves pleasing me, but never ever does it. I am so tired of my sex life.

It has gotten to the point that when a sex scene comes up on tv, my heart breaks and I start crying (in private).

I have tried not giving him a blowjob for periods of time, but it seems like it takes an even bigger toll on our relationship, we lose our 'bond'.

He gets his blowjobs, and I still enjoy giving them. But I feel neglected and undeserving of the same pleasure.

Do I deal with this for the rest of my life?

Do I leave?

Am I selfish?

Do I deserve more?