Hey all.. needing a safe space to vent.

I had my 3rd and final baby on sept 14th. He has been my toughest baby to date. Between silent reflux, undiagnosed tongue tie, no sleep, PPD, and overall baby being generally unhappy most of his earlier weeks, I’ve struggled to find happiness in motherhood again.

Let me start by saying, of course, I’m so UNBELIEVABLY thankful my son is healthy and alive . I would never trade him for anything...

It’s just, I’ve always cared about staying in shape. I like working out and i like having goals to pursue that are outside of my “mom” role. I’ve watched my body get out of shape to birth 3 beautiful children now. And i just want to feel like myself again. I finally caved and ordered clothes that were bigger in order to just feel “pretty” again.. and lo and behold, even though i sized up, they still were not big enough 😭. Talk about a real kick in the crotch !

I know to some this may sound vain, and that’s fine! I’m not here to defend how i feel in wanting to feel like myself again. If you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. I just needed a place to write this out with other moms who maybe can relate.