So i’m trying to figure out who else has this issue? let me give you all the medical history i know about myself.

Severe depression, been in and off medicated for a while. On and off meds, my sex drive never changed.

I’ve been on birth control for 3 years almost 4, i just recently stopped taking it bc i felt like it wasn’t helping with my extremely bad cramps.

Gave birth January of 2019, now certain positions hurt a lot.

Severe body dysmorphia, i absolutely am disgusted by myself 24/7.

I always feel tired, especially after work and driving 45 minutes home.

My OB thinks i have a low sex drive because i’m overweight and I hate myself, lol. he’s probably somewhat right.

He’s checked me for fibroids, none.

He’s not concerned about me having endometriosis.

My husband says he finds me gorgeous and that he loves me the way i am but my brain literally says every time “Nah, he knows he can do better and he’s gonna cheat on you for a skinny, tan, hot girl with a high sex drive.”

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

I literally have zero, none, ZIP want to have sex. I find my husband attractive, our sex life is a little vanilla but i like it. I’m not into role play or kinky stuff anyways. I love him a lot. But i can tell he’s getting frustrated with me and disappointed. Right now i think we have sex 2 times a month. If that.

Is anyone else like this? I genuinely don’t like having sex. It’s just not what it’s hyped up to be. It’s kind of gross having to clean up after, and getting to the actual sex part is so boring but necessary so you don’t tear anything. I’m just not interested in it at all. It has nothing to do with my husband. Like i wouldn’t ever cheat on him, for one, i have no interest in having sex line at all. with anyone.

Please tell me i’m not alone. What do i do? My OB refuses to prescribe me anything. I’m on the couch while my husband lays in bed alone bc i overthink and my anxiety skyrockets at night.