EVERY PERSON I KNOW IS PREGNANT

I am so frustrated.

We have been trying to have our second baby for the ENTIRE YEAR. We started in February, but COVID halted our embryo transfer plans in March. We waited patiently through 4, 5, 6 pregnancy announcements when the shutdowns started. In May we were finally cleared to start a cycle, and it WORKED! I was over the moon, invincible, 2 successful embryo transfers in a row (our son was our first and was born in April 2019).

At our first ultrasound there was nothing to be found. We waited, maybe it was too early? It was an ectopic pregnancy. My doctor called it a fluke and assured us our prognosis for future transfers was still very very good, but we had to dissolve that pregnancy with methotrexate in June. Another 5, 6, 7 pregnancy announcements.

As soon as we were released to start again in October we did. Our October 1st transfer failed to implant. Okay, we knew every transfer wouldn't be successful, let's try again. Another 2 pregnancy announcements.

November 9th transfer, another failure. My friend who's been in this journey with us since before our son was born had a successful transfer.

Okay. Last embryo, let's do one more transfer before the end of the year.

2 more pregnancy announcements.

People who announced they were pregnant while we were waiting for our fertility clinic to open back up in the Spring are now due with their precious babies and my heart aches for myself, my husband, and everyone else who has been trying throughout this barrage of constant pregnancy announcements from friends and family.

I'm happy for them, I'm excited for them. I really, truly am. But what am I doing so wrong that I don't deserve to have another baby? Infertility sucks.