I think I have post partum

I just had my first baby and I don’t want to care for him anymore. He’s beautiful but I’m not up for the job. I didn’t know it would be so rough. He needs me 24/7 and I don’t get a break. I haven’t slept for days...literally. I’m in so much pain from the birth. It burns so bad when I pee and it hurts if I walk too much but I have no choice because baby needs me. I can’t get help because of Covid we are staying away from people and it’s just me and my husband who is also a first timer and he works so he does the best he can but it all depends on me. I can’t stand changing the baby’s diaper. He cries and cries and it takes me so long just to take his onesie off or put it on. He won’t be in his bassinet for more than 5 seconds and will only sleep with me holding him. My nipples hurt so bad but he is hungry all the time. I can’t take it. My husband has this positive attitude and I admire him but I am just so overwhelmed. I’m so tired and I’m going to bed knowing I won’t get any sleep and I’ll have to carry him around, breastfeed and change diapers while I’m in so much pain down there and exhausted. I hate when he gets fussy because I don’t know why most of the time and I feel so bad. He’s so adorable..the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen...but I’m just so down. I’m scared to tell my husband how I really feel. I only have told him I’m overwhelmed and he caught me crying, he tried to take baby off my hands but I’m dreading baby coming back and needing me. Sometimes I have a fleeting thought of getting in my car and leaving. I’d never do it..I’d never do that to a baby or my husband who I love so much...but I just want to run away