Okay, so I found on my husbands search engine that he was looking up another girl. Just her name. The thing is, I wasnt looking for it, I was getting ready to type something in the search bar and it poppes up. Now, some women are okay with porn in a marriage, and thats cool go off, do your thing. No judgment. But, im not that gal. ALTHOUGH I wouldva much rather seen that then him seaeching up someome we both know, he has history with. Sexual history. AND he looked it up while I had my girls at the doctor! Thats the part that really gets me. My question for you ladies, is ,do you think i should be this angry. Its almost 5 pm here and we havent spoke one word. Not one. And he knows I hate this woman with a passion. Like bad. Before I even met my husband. Im just feeling insecure lately and i can feel it in my sex life. Thats why my eyes are closed during because I try to shut my brain off and just feel good about myself. This isnt even close to a first time thing. I just dont know if im really this mad or should be over this or ifs other things he has done that is plahing into this anger about finding this. So my otger question is, is that right? Because i would be jealous and kinda mad if it was the first time and only time, but after everything, idk. Is it right to pile on everything he has ever done over this thing? Idk. I love this man with everything in me and I dont want my kids to loose any time with their daddy me and i want to stay together as a family. But i just dont know if i can look at him the same. This might be the final straw. The thing is, he wont talk. He wont admit it even though theres no denying it. Just squints at the screen like an asshole. Like uh I never did that. Im gonna send the phone back blah blah. He just screams and pouts. I guess if he says it any more, he really will believe he didn't do it. I texted and told him he could try to fix it he didnt read it. As always. I told him the part that makes everything worse, is that you lie like ive got idiot written on my forehead.