FTM lost her STM Best friend

FTM. Girl drama?! PP has been a struggle but I’ve also felt like I’ve lost my best friend in the process. We’ve been friends for 17 years! She had a baby boy a few years ago. We have been very close for the past 10 years. She recently had her second baby girl and I had my first.

I know things are different in 2020 due to covid so not visiting friends etc, but I feel like our relationship has changed completely since I had my baby. It feels like she thinks my questions are annoying or silly since what she has to deal with (with 2 kids is obviously much harder). I try to be understanding that she’s under a lot of pressure too with both kids but it seems any time I have a question or want to talk about something she blows it off. When my baby had a low fever and I told her my doctors office suggested I come in, she kind of laughed and was like “that’s nothing. Barely Even a fever.” Or if I say I’m having trouble with ____ she will respond well then you shouldn’t have two. It’s so much worse. And then also - oh it’s so much worse when they’re toddlers. It feels like I can’t just share anything with her anymore. Everything I say she somehow takes back to her situation.

The latest “feud” was about daycare - I was upset about going back to work and putting my baby in daycare. I told her that my husband and I were struggling with it and she got super mad. She was like well some people have no choice and my kids are in daycare so what’s your problem. Ever since that argument, everything has been different. This is going to sound dumb ....but she’s stopped liking any posts or photos of mine but still posting on all of our mutual friends pages. I’m not big on social media in general so I didn’t read much into it until I found out she had been talking about me to those mutual friends. They didn’t really share what she said but they had made a comment like oh it’s crazy that you two aren’t getting along right now since friends forever. I was like ?! And then no one would own up and say what was actually said. Then I found out there was a gathering that I was specifically not invited to.

I tend to be pretty passive aggressive. Not my best trait. (as is she). Recipe for disaster I suppose. Any time some little spats arose in the last I always felt like the one to make an effort to fix it. I don’t event want to this time. I’m so over the pettiness. I feel like I listened to her as a friend for years and years and now she is not reciprocating and she’s annoyed by me. Sad to lose a friend but it seems to be the case! I don’t know why I’m posting this other than just to get it out and because I’m sad. Wondering if anyone else has ever dealt with something similar.