Last night I had THE worst dream I’ve had in a bit and everytime I talk about my dreams it helps me get them out of my head. I know it’s just a dream but it still sucked.

I had a dream that me and my so broke up, and I was already dealing with that and I started getting really sick and found out that I was pregnant.

Even IRL, my worst fear is being left pregnant and alone to navigate everything by myself.

My goal wasn’t to get him back, it was to let him know that I was pregnant with HIS baby and I would need help.

When we broke up he took off to Vegas with his friend and he blocked my number but I was like.. I HAVE to tell him I am pregnant.

So I call his friend. Blocked. Called his friends wife, blocked.

I got ahold of one of them somehow and I was like “does your family know I’m pregnant? Does your sister know? DOES YOUR MOM KNOW? I WILL TELL THEM. I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE.”

He blocked me after that too.

Annnnd that’s when I woke up crying. In the Dream i was in my bathroom floor staring at the pregnancy test and thinking about how he wouldn’t have anything to do with me and I was absolutely terrified. My so woke me up and i was full on crying it was really weird. I rolled over and told him about the dream and he said “it was just a dream. I wouldn’t leave you and our baby alone.”

I’ve had conversations with him about how we aren’t ready for a baby so I got an IUD but I asked him “what would you do if I got pregnant even though we weren’t ready.” And he said “everything I could. I’m not that kind of person who could just leave their kid.”

I legit have anxiety over this even though I am on birth control and he’s told me himself that he would never do this.