2.5 year old tantrums have begun...

My son is 2.5. He is going through a big tantrum phase. Everything upsets him if it isn’t done his way. I know kids are particular sometimes but it’s rough. He’s also got this thing where he will be playing with toys then all of the sudden he will try and “crush” them with his knees or he will decide to take ALL of the toys off shelves or just make a huge mess out of nowhere. He doesn’t want to play with the toys but he wants to make a mess. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I know boys are rough and tumble but it’s so much work. He’s also not a huge fan of listening to anything I say. 😐 I’ve tried just about every approach to end the tantrums. Currently I’m going with ignoring the screaming until he uses his words and talks to me. Obviously I don’t neglect him but if I try to talk during a tantrum he doesn’t hear me because he’s upset. Even minor inconveniences set him off. I guess I’m just ranting but this is the HARDEST stage by far! I’m also 17 weeks pregnant and I honestly am having a tough time being screamed at from the time I wake up until I put him to sleep at night, so it’s really just making me feel depressed and like a failure. Neither my fiance or I are people who raise our voices, we’re just not big yellers so it’s a lot. Hopefully this season we are in will pass.