Did you have another after a terrible sleeper?

Kirsten • Wife • Mom to Lily 06/19 and Emma 09/21 •

I'm really on the fence about wanting another baby. My baby is now 18 months and my husband wants another. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but the first year was the worst. I had post partum depression, my husband worked a lot so I did everything for our daughter, she woke up at least 3 times a night for 13 months and the breastfeeding was exhausting.

A lot has changed in 18 months tho. I have a much better job, I get paid better, I'll have paid hours off next year on top of short term disability, so my husband wouldnt have to work as much. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself by not wanting to supplement with formula. But the sleeping is what throws me off. I know I cant know how a second baby would be until they are born, but Im terrfied to have another terrible sleeper. Even trying to do all the "right" things with the first didnt help. Like she always slept alone in her crib, we tried to keep a loose schedule for sleep and we tried to let her fall asleep on her own. Im not sure we could change much if our second also wont sleep. It also took about 2 hours a night to get my daughter to go to sleep each night. It was exhausting and my husband works nights now, so when he works bedtime would be all me.

I would love all the newborn snuggles, all the "firsts" again and having another baby to love, but I love sleep too. So I guess my question is after having a horrible sleeper, how did you decide to try again or not? And was your next similar with sleep? My daughter sleeps great now and I know if I get too used to her independence I wont want another. Basically I want a small age gap so that I dont feel like I am starting all over again. I know I made it through the first time, but I'm scared to have the same experience.

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