How does your husband show he loves you?

Question

I am trying to tell my husband I just don’t feel like he’d do anything for me. I don’t feel “protected” by him. (I say this bc when we went on vacation a guy was sexually harassing me and when I told my husband about it he said “cool” ended up having his dad talk to the guy about how inappropriate it was while my husband just stayed silent.) I sent him a necklace I wanted for Christmas. I sent it once a week hinting how bad I wanted it. Literally a whole month before Christmas. Then I find out he had me drive to the grocery store on Christmas eve so he could get me a gift card... so I woke up on Christmas to a gift card. (He says I’m ungrateful for that but the necklace I sent him was cheaper than the gift card and he wouldn’t of even had to drive anywhere...) I guess I was upset because he told me what he wanted for Christmas and I got him everything and more so that he’d have a special Christmas. Maybe I’m wrong for expecting things.. 
I’ve also been hinting I’d love flowers. For months. I even bought myself flowers once and then when they died I asked if he’d ever wanna replace them for me with new ones. I ask he post me on social media and that it may be silly but it’d make me happy.
NONE OF THIS HAS HAPPENED. never got the necklace, never got flowers. He claims he doesn’t get flowers cause he never goes to the store. He claims he’s not gonna drive 45 min round trip to get me flowers. Which hurts me bc is he saying I’m not worth a 45 min drive? 
I just don’t know what to do. He doesn’t cheat and he helps pay the bills but I don’t feel loved and taken care of.

Answer

Sounds like you have a roommate, not a husband. My fiance and I aren't married yet, but he goes above and beyond every day. I've just had our child and he doesn't upon me like I'm the most precious thing. Even though I'm not pregnant anymore he still pops out in the evening to the shops to get me cookies if I ask him to.
We take it in turns every weekend to cook breakfast for eachother. We say I love you every night before sleeping and every morning we ask eachother how we slept. We've been together for 7 years almost and not a day goes by when I dont feel loved by this man.
You DESERVE that! You deserve to feel cherished every single day. And if you aren't and you feel unhappy and unloved, well it might just be time to move on, get a divorce, and find someone who will treat you like the queen you are.
A marriage is more than just not cheating and paying Bill's x

Answer

Ppl show love in dif ways. Totally get how you feel but sounds like your love languages don’t align. He needs to learn yours! I know you’re trying to teach him! I wouldn’t expect my husband to go to the store for me to just get flowers though. My husband would think that I’d ridiculous if I asked that. I would be upset by the necklace thing though. Just sounds lazy! His love language is probably quality time or physical touch maybe? Maybe have a talk with him about that. I know you’ve tried but maybe he doesn’t get that gifts is one of yours. I’m sure he doesn’t get how happy and loved it would make you feel Bc it sounds like gifts are not apart of his love language. He sounds like he doesn’t like conflict so didn’t defend you on the trip. That doesn’t make it ok and you have every right to feel like he didn’t take care of you when he needed to, but he did try and get his dad to help so at least he did something. I totally get why you’re upset he didn’t do it himself though. Again, totally get how you’re feeling. He sounds like he is being lazy. Is he depressed? He sounds like he doesn’t care? Maybe you need to lower your expectations a bit. I mean you know how he is so you know how unlikely it would be for him to get you flowers randomly (even with all the hints), etc. you’ll just end up feeling disappointed. I had to change my expectations a bit when I got with my husband. Just dif love languages. physical touch is not his love language. I had to learn it doesn’t mean he isn’t attracted to me or whatever that’s just now how he shows love. Now if he ever does randomly hug me or touch me on his own, it means so much more!

Answer

I wouldn’t want to be in a thoughtless relationship like that.

Answer

He wouldn’t even have to drive for any of that. He could order you flowers or chocolates and have them delivered to you. So he really just is lazy and not a romantic guy. I’m sorry.

Answer

I would leave honestly. 
This to ne is a clear sign that he doesn’t really care if you are happy in the relationship. 
Apparently he is and why should he care that you are not. Who cares about you right? 
You deserve better!!! 
I feel so loved by my husband I don’t know where to start to explain how I know that. 
Sometimes I think what did I do to deserve a man like this 😍 
Value yourself more!!!

Answer

It’s the little things like coming home to him cleaning my toothbrush and charging it, a movie and my favorite candy on the table waiting for me, flowers at work, every morning getting a good morning text. Stuff like this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would be upset too especially the gift card thing. I don’t have any advice. I’m sorry. Hugs ❤️

Answer

He seems like he doesn’t give a shit and that’s really unfair to you. My husband shows me he loves me in so many ways. He’ll bring me flowers randomly, he makes my coffee every morning, he does all the grocery shopping cause he doesn’t want me to be at risk (COVID), he’ll offer to rub my back or feet almost daily, so so much more.

Answer

Was he like this before you got married?

Answer

He is a giver whatever I need he will do. But he had to learn affection was a biggie for me because he was raised to not give affection at all. His mother still views it as weird. 
But he thinks about me in small ways and gives me things that I don’t actually have to ask for.

Answer

This isn't right he seems selfish on the affection side of things my husband is lush he's always kissing my head yelling me he loves me,he makes me drinks and food here and there now and again he will get my fav box of chocolates and have a movie night and he's forever doing the housework I know not every man is like this and I'm very lucky we're still going strong after 13 years and baby number 3 on the way... sometimes u have to look at the bigger picture of he's not treating u right there's someone out there that really will everyone deserves love and affection goodluck Hun ❤️

How does your husband show he loves you?

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