I love babies and children and always wanted to be a mother. I was told I was infertile, so if I ever got pregnant I thought I'd be an earth's mother type who feels like a goddess creating life.

But I'm not in love with my fetus. I think about her like a hypothetical baby not a real one inside of me.

It's very upsetting for my mom. She had told me my feelings would change when I felt the fetus kick, but they haven't. She is so emotional it makes me not want to talk about the pregnancy with her. If I complain about my discomfort, back pain, or acid reflux my mom acts like I'm saying I will hate my baby. I won't. But she only wants me to talk about overwhelming joy and love, and I don't feel it.

I will love this baby once it's born. But I've never loved anyone before meeting them. I can't even adopt a pet from looking at a cute picture online. I have to look into their eyes, and know their personality before emotions form.

I know that's different for some women. My mom said she loved me the moment she found out she was pregnant. Is something wrong with me? I don't feel like anything's wrong, but her reaction to my logical processing makes me feel like I'm a terrible mother before I've ever looked at my baby.

I'm not letting anyone share that I'm pregnant publicly. I want to wait until the baby is born before I announce her to the world because I don't want to deal with anyone else's emotions, happy or otherwise. I'm still happy to be having a child, but pregnancy sucks, and other people telling me how I should feel sucks the worst.