I just need to vent please read 😞😪

I really wish I can still breastfeed my son. He was a NICU baby premature 27 weeks supposed to be 9 months from the day he was supposed to be born. Will not latch at all anymore. Tried everything cuddles skin to skin pulls away from my boob and pushes it away. Supplement with formula then I have to pump. I honestly hate pumping it’s exhausting especially when you have a little toddler around my daughter who’s 21 months and sometimes I just want to give up but I still plan on giving him breastmilk which I really really want to do. It’s not a lot of milk but I just give him what I have from what I pumped because all he wants is the bottle now not my boob. Don’t wanna force him because it’s going to make it worse. I just missed that connection and it just sucks he won’t go back on my breast anymore 😢