Embarrassed

I am so happy to see all of you so overjoyed about your pregnancies and I so want to be like that. But I'm just not. I'm in a terrible marriage and I'm ashamed that I let this happened. My husband cheated when I was a few weeks postpartum with my first. That was 15 months ago and now I'm 12 weeks pregnant. I should have left a million times but now I feel trapped and alone. No one knows about our problems and everyone keeps pressuring me to announce the pregnancy but I don't want to. I'm embarrassed that I sealed my fate and my childrens. I cant afford to leave with two babies and they will be forced to be raised by loveless parent. I'm sorry, I guess I just needed someone to know.