I need to vent!!

Staring at a negative pregnancy test praying God will turn it positive because you can't take another month going by without your positive test. They say it gets easier you just have to stop trying but honestly it's all I think about it's all I talk about I don't think I can handle anybody else telling me it will happen because now I just want to hear when it's going to happen and I don't think I can handle being patient anymore because I'm running out of that too... 4 years and I don't think I can go any longer but something on the inside of me want let me give up because every month I'm praying that it's finally my turn...