We have a daughter who is 17 and has been dating a 18 year old boy for 6 months. Her boyfriend (we’ll call him Danny) has always been really respectful and helpful to the family, everyone loves him... Except for my husband.

It started when Danny quit his job - he worked at a restaurant as a server and, especially since the pandemic started, he felt he wasn’t making enough for the job to be worth staying at. My husband had a huge problem with this, saying that Danny should be “taking care of her” and talking poorly of him. Saying that’s his daughter, he wants to protect her from “losers”. He started making this a problem with our daughter and she told him the only people who are technically obligated to take care of her financially are us because she is still a minor. But that she wants to work and be able to take care of herself instead of depending on a man. That he should let go of his “old school thinking” and that he’s being a hypocrite. (My husband is an alcoholic and spends a lot of money even tho we struggle. They also have a poor relationship in general bc of this).

Then it just was awkward for a couple weeks. When Danny was around, he would clean the whole main level for us. You could tell my husband hated him being here but our daughter ignored anything he said/did, telling me she wants to be respectful but that this is her life to live, not his.

But since then, my husband has been really... creepy. He makes an overwhelming amount of “jokes” about him being sexually involved with Danny and Danny being gay overall. He did it today too and I tried to hint to him by saying “well maybe instead of Danny being ‘secretly gay’, you are since you always bring it up”. He didn’t respond to me but told our daughter that he was only joking. Later in the day, I walked into a room of the 3 of them and my husband was telling them that he was just kidding, but that if Danny made a “joke” about them being sexual together, it would “creep him out” and get him to stop.

When I ask my husband about it, he says “well that’s what you wanted right? For me to like him?”