I hate how I feel so lonely an d isolated with pumping and breastfeeding. Yes I know it’s the best thing but I’m struggling. My son breastfeeds fine, can pump well, and I know I am so lucky in so many aspects. I finally saw my grandparents for 1.5 hours to meet their great grandson (I haven’t seen them in a year from COVID) and I was gone for 30 mins to pump. I normally breastfeed but didn’t want them to lose time with my baby. I am currently missing the super bowl which is a huge tradition for my family to breastfeed. We have been so careful and don’t go anywhere because of COVID but a few people offered to babysit so we could have a date night. I’m worried from COVID but honestly the idea of having to make sure he has milk, I pumped enough, and he will be ok is just giving me a lot of anxiety. I struggle with no sleep and am super emotional/ hormonal/ exhausted because I have to get up to pump even if my boy sleeps because I worry about engorgement or get really uncomfortable. But my husband gets 8 hrs of sleep a night and is so calm and is a part of everything. I am not bitter. My husband has been amazing and does so much. It’s just taken a toll on me. I want to keep up breastfeeding but at the moment I am worn out by it. Sorry. I know it is such a stupid and silly thing to get frustrated with. I guess I am just venting and hoping others feel the same at times and I am not crazy.