So disappointed..

I know all that matters is a healthy baby but I am so disappointed. My first baby was an uncomplicated vaginal delivery. This baby is breech and I have tried EVERYTHING to get her to turn on her own (spinning babies exercises, chiropractor, acupuncture, ice packs..). This morning I went to the hospital and they tried to manually turn her which failed and I now have a c section date. I guess I feel like this birth experience has been taken away? I am also terrified to go through major surgery and I have an anxiety disorder. Also, the thought of recovering with a newborn and a toddler scares me a lot. I guess I just needed to vent and write out my feelings.. been a morning full of tears and I am not a crier..