Please avoid bashing my fiancé at all costs. I’m not trying to necessarily complain about him or anything so please don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way, he tends to not think before he says/ does things and it bites him in the ass.

Anyways, we haven’t had sex two nights in a row now, the other night I was joking around and called it our “nightly ritual” because for the most part it is. We usually have sex once or twice every night before bed because we’re tending to my five year old during the day so we don’t have the opportunity to really do it any other time and it helps us relax and sleep better.

Anyways, we have been using condoms since December/last January because I had tried a new birth control pill and ended up being allergic to it. Well I’m basically refraining from sex because we don’t have the money right now to buy anymore condoms because last month we got Covid and he ended losing his job opportunity, he literally had gotten to work ONE day at this new job before we found out we had covid so it put us in a rough spot financially. So a couple of nights ago my mom sent me some money, not a lot but just enough for me because I had a doctors appointment yesterday for a cyst on my neck. She sent me the money so I’d have enough for the copay and any medicine they gave me. And I’ll have to more doctors appointments to go to for this cyst, so I was hanging on to the rest of the money for those copays and any medicine I might need from those visits because as of right now it is infected and will need to be taken out.

Because my mom sent money to me he automatically assumed I was buying condoms and I told him I wasn’t and I never said that because I need to save money because getting this cyst out is more important to me right now than sex.

He got all huffy and threw up in my face “well I thought if either of us had money it was supposed to be OUR money, what happened to that?” And I told him it’s true but I need this money for more important things rn.

He suggested pulling out and cumming on me but I don’t like that because I get all sticky and nasty afterwards. And he will NOT cum in me at all as he doesn’t want to risk the chance of me getting pregnant rn which is understandable, but because we couldn’t meet in the middle I just decided to abstain from sex altogether until we could afford condoms or meet some kind of middle ground. And I told him that I didn’t want to have sex anymore right now, for that reason.

Then tonight he brought up us having sex and I told him no, he said why so I told him the exact same thing I told him before then he got all huffy again.

He started saying “this is ridiculous and I don’t understand you” and was basically saying things that made it feel like he was trying to make me feel bad and pressure me into it. I called him out for that and he said he wasn’t but then continued saying things that made me feel that way.

I get in my feelings very easy, I’m a very sensitive person and it just hurt my feelings just like the other day I was looking at colleges around me to see what kind of degrees they offer because once I get my GED I planned on going but I’m not sure what I want to do yet. I was getting excited and talked to him about it and he said “I don’t know why you’re looking at colleges, it’s not like you’re going to get a job.” I have very severe people anxiety, I have severe anxiety in general and I don’t like being around people and I told him that having a job made me feel very anxious because I haven’t been out on medication for my anxiety yet and that’s what that slick remark was about.

I moved over 8 hours away from home to be with him and he genuinely makes me want to go back to my home sometimes...