My husband and I have both agreed from the beginning we wouldn’t spank - as that’s how we both grew up. For punishments we use taking away privileges or ignoring her during a tantrum.

Our 4 year old has literally slept in our bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT since she was around 1 and a half to two, waking up around 3 AM and refusing to stop screaming unless she was in our bed. Usually my husband is the patient one out of both of us - he’s more calm during tantrums and I get exasperated and yell or walk away. He’s a very good dad - always talking and playing with her and teaching her things.

One morning, she’s in our bed between us kicking and screaming - I pop my head up to ask her what’s going on and my husband half asleep pops up, pinches her cheek and goes back to bed. I would compare it to when you lightly pinch a baby’s cheek when you’re saying how cute they are - i immediately freaked out at him and it didn’t leave a mark. He said it wasn’t that hard and went back to bed.

Now its months later and we got into an argument because now that she sleeps in her bed every night and doesn’t wake up, she threw a usual tantrum and when she does she gets red splotches on her face sometimes if she cries really hard. I asked him if he pinched her - he got mad at me saying he made a mistake months ago and feels horrible, that it wasn’t a hard pinch and he was half dead to the world and wouldn’t ever do it again as he felt crappy about it and I “always bring it up and make him feel like a horrible dad” and that he doesn’t constantly bring up any mistakes I’ve made.

Am I being ridiculous for still bringing this up?