All I want for valentines day

Is a freaking positive opk. After the chemical I had this last cycle, I was supposed to announce tomorrow. Instead it's ewcm and not quite yet positive opks. I have a hard time catching one ever. It's hard to not be upset.. I'm making do.

2/22 I have an ultrasound to check on my ovaries and get a better diagnosis so I'm excited (I guess) about that, at least. I know if I don't catch my rainbow this month, it's right around the corner.

I used to feel so jealous of women who could just plan what month they get pregnant, no Christmas babies, no birthday too close together... but I no longer feel that way.. my firsts birthday the first week of December, heck, they could have back to back birthdays and I would not care. A child is so wanted. So needed in my life. My son needs a sibling. My heart longs for another one.

And if that doesn't work out, before I do IVF I may foster or adopt. I feel like my family has some growing to do, I'm about to have my life very stable, with a lot to take care of a big family with. A lot of love. A husband who really adores his child. A family that yearns to grow.

It's just difficult when I got pregnant fairly easily before, and now... not so much. I want to stay pregnant, not just get pregnant.

Until then I will keep collecting neutral baby items, temping first thing in the morning, peeing on 3 opks a day, and loving the one I got, and dreaming of how our family will grow. 🌼 🌞 👶