When I was 15 years old I knew I was going to have a baby and dreamed of baby names..

21 years old met my love and things were good (still married ❤️)

25 years old was the age I always wanted to have a kid by but life happens and so that was on the back burner

28 years old I can’t wait to get pregnant

29 years old I’m taking steps to better myself for pregnancy and buying sperm (the joys of finding a sperm donor)

30 years old I find myself laying in bed thinking... I really don’t know if I want kids..

Is this a phase? I was like oh I have to take care of another human.. bottles.. diapers.. school.. sickness

But I watch other people with kids and smile at the positive moment they are having and want that moment.

Can’t have the good without some bad but I’m just kinda confused.

Over the last half a year I found myself googling quizzes “do I want to be a mother”

so silly but I have seen others say they knows for sure they want to be a mom and at one point that was me.. but now idk.. just don’t know..

Why do I feel like this??