So as a background

First off I’m 19 almost 20. I work part time and going to community college. I am working towards moving out, which I will add the other day she said “just because you’re in love doesn’t meant you need to live together”. I’ve been with my boyfriend a little over a year. I go to his house on Friday and come home Monday afternoon.

Basically I am on birth control and we use condoms

Also my moms a nurse

I was making dinner with my mom and I mentioned that my obgyn (also hers) switched me to a pill with more estrogen. She asked why and I told her that I was becoming drier than the Sahara desert. Maybe wrong choice in wording but to me it’s awkward so that’s what came out of my mouth. After a little talk back and forth she tells me I’m dabling with my future. And I told her that not only am I on birth control (which she knows) we use condoms as well. And then I said even if I got pregnant there’s a chance the pregnancy would be outside of the uterus. (I think, correct me if I’m wrong) and I told her that even if I got pregnant I wouldn’t keep the baby.

Now I am not against abortion because I think sometimes it’s needed. I am not prepared to bring a child into this world nor would I be able to give my baby away to a stranger. Until I am moved out and have a good job, it’s not right for me to keep a child and that’s why I’m going lengths to keep a child from happening. I’ll add that he even pulls out, with the condom on. She then goes “you’re not having an abortion” as if it’s up to her. I’m not gonna sit here and say it’s something you should use as birth control but if my 3 methods fail I’m not going to leave myself stuck with a baby I can’t support mentally physically or financially. Whether you believe in it or not it’s not my mother’s choice what I did IF I got pregnant which I’m 99% sure it won’t happen.

My mother has been so annoying to me throughout my relationship. She constantly makes comments like “he needs to be paying for half of the food preps” which he has always done. She doesn’t like that I drive an hour to his house and that he doesn’t pick me up. But if you do the math I only drive 2 hours to go both ways. That’d be 4 hours for him so it’s easier for me to do the driving and he buys me food all the time so he’s spent equal if not more money on me.

I really want to move out but my boyfriend is trying to find a job after losing his jobs to covid, and he’s gotta save up some money and I also need to because I only work part time so I put 100 in my savings every check I get. It’s not something that’ll happen for a little while and I can’t do anything but be stuck here with someone who tries to control my relationship and tell me what my boyfriend should and shouldn’t do and pay for. And then when it comes to sex she knows damn well she had sex at my age and didn’t have kids till she was married so it’s not like she didn’t have me and my brother at my age and she doesn’t have a “I got pregnant as a teen so you shouldn’t” type of lesson to teach me. She’s a nurse so I don’t get why she acts so fickle when I talk about that stuff cuz I’m just trying to be honest because I have no reason to lie. I’m an adult and sex is part of a relationship. It’s not all of the relationship but I think a lot of people on here can agree that having a healthy sex life is good in a relationship.

Me and him moving in together will help our relationship as the efforts I have to drive an hour to him will no longer be there, it will get us both out of our parents house, and he’s had experience living on his own so it’s not like we sre going to jump into it without preparing at all, which is why we are saving.

This is just a rant. I’ve dealt with issues with my mom for a long time. I love her dearly but I believe she has had depression left untreated from traumas and she takes it out on me. Her and I often feel left out by her side of the family which sucks and would make anyone depressed, and her husband cheated on her and left her and started a new family. I really do try really hard to understand how she feels, and I am grateful but it’s hard to come off as grateful when she treats me poorly. And I know this isn’t an amazing example of the messed up things she’s said to me. You don’t even want to know.

To help you understand what type of mom she is, when I was in high school I was struggling with severe depression and I was hurting myself. My ex at the time called the police and I had to go to the psych ward for a few hours. Weeks after she told me I did it for attention.