Trigger Warning - Miscarriage

This is more of a rant than help

Yesterday my husband and I went in for our first ultrasound and found out, again, that our baby was only 6 weeks when should be measuring at 8 with no heartbeat. It was terrible because it was dejavu for us since we went through a miscarriage last year and were told the same thing by the same doctor. They can't officially announce it as a miscarriage until my next scan in 9 days, but we know it is since I'm 1000% sure on my dates. I just feel so angry. I'm angry that this has happened again. I'm angry that family members I tell are telling me to be optimistic and to keep trying, no just let me be fucking mad for the next few days. This isn't fair and it makes me question if I'm such a bad mom that God doesn't think I should get another kid. I feel bad for my husband, I feel bad for my son. I've done everything right with taking care of my body while pregnant and still, it just isn't fair. Nothing in life prepares you for this.