For context I (26F) and my husband (25M) have been together since we were 16 and just got married last year in June and we currently live with just his mother. We have always had a pretty solid sex life and things were always really just good ( don’t necessarily recommend having sex young but we were each other’s first and lasts and it worked out that way for us both). Since we started so young with intercourse we of course had no idea what we were doing and it took us a few years to get me to orgasm and again I still enjoyed sex with him just didn’t know it could get better and that was about 5-6 years ago now.

So here’s where I’m starting to notice something crazy. My husband is always super gentle and kind and very loving to me always worried about me in bed but I think he may be forgetting about himself. Recently on Valentine’s Day I booked us a hotel room and brought massage candles with a paddle and cuffs. I almost didn’t bring them because once I bought them he seemed almost not into it whats so ever. Fast forward to me about to use them on him and he was just so so( I’m a switch but will learn I may not be😳). I took them off of him and was disappointed like well I guess this night won’t be as fun as hoped. Wrong.

He asked me if I wanted them used on me I said yes but reluctantly because what was he going to do? He’s so gentle I truly didn’t think he had any other side to him at all. He placed me on my stomach put them on and proceeded to spank me lightly but then slowly proceeded to get harder. Of course I moved but it felt so good I almost felt wrong enjoying it but I did and each time I squirmed away he’d grab the cuffs and pull harder and start to spank me more (he asked before if i was okay my ass started to turn red). He started to slowly put himself inside me and proceeded to take his time but then pull back harder on the cuffs out of no where and was spanking me at the same time and asking me if I like it and I could fully feel he liked being aggressive with me. It was so intense I almost couldn’t believe I gave up so much power to him. He was doing me so hard I had to question if it was my husband.

Now my question is how do I pull this out of him each time or is it a slow transition to men to understand their want to be dominant in bed. I think I’ve always wanted to have him be this way with me just never knew how to ask because quite frankly I have a dominant-personality for a woman and giving up power felt weird but so amazing I wanted it to happen again and again. It’s just hard I don’t wanna have to push it out of him. I even recently told him that I may wanna try anal and he used to joke about it and now says naw. And I’m okay but I told him I’ll just get a butt-plug and do it myself when I’m alone and it this enticed him I think a bit. Last night he tried touching my rim instead of my vag area but I know he knows the difference and when I tried to point it out to him he was so calm as if he meant it. How do I get more kinky in bed without embarrassment for him or myself? And how do I not become a fien for his dick constantly I feel like I’m always ready to go.

Also please recommend some great ways to get anal started alone or partnered.

TLDR: Gentle husband finally goes fully dom, how do I get more of this?