I want to scream. I want a baby

I have been in a healthy relationship for over a year. I want to get engaged and try for a baby. I have told him and I know it will be “soon” but I’m feeling:

1. Powerless- I hate that as women we have to wait for a man to propose. I know I could ask him but he would probably laugh. I just want a hand in deciding my future. I feel like I’m living in the unknown.

2. Crazy - I want to be a mom so bad. I’m 29. I know it’s not crazy to want to be a mom but we talked about it and I feel crazy for bringing it up over and over. I feel a crazy fire of sadness and desire to have my baby. I can’t do anything to make it go away. Tic tock tic tock.

3. Defeated- I don’t want to bring it up again. I wish he would propose so we can buy a house and settle down. I know it will likely happen in 1-2 years but I’m tired of waiting. Why wait!!

Sincerely,

Frustrated.