Am I wrong here?

Question

I wasn't able to have a job because of no one being able to watch my children. My boyfriend/ kids father promised to support my half of the bills. Now that I've been offered a job that pays more than his,  and have child care situated.He wants to stay home now and have his half supported, because that's "only fair". I only got a job to help with bills not take them over fully.  But he doesn't see it that way and thinks I'm being unfair. 
I'm not the best communicator so how can I put this in away he'll understand.
Update**
He literally told me he wants me to suffer and feel what he felt having to be the only one with a job and everyone depended on him
The child care situation is I work mon-friday 9-5 he would stay home monday-wednesday to watch the kids but go to work Thursday-saturday because my mom will watch them Thursday Friday and me Saturday sunday

Answer

He sounds like a child lol it’s not like you picked to have to rely on him bc of financial reasons. So does he think you two are going to keep alternating between one of you working and one not? Does he plan on going back to work? 
I would start by asking him what the plan here is. But if it were me, I would probably tell my SO that while it would hold us over, I want him to work too so your family can have the most money possible instead

Answer

Is he going to be taking care of the kids? Or will you still be paying for child care? Because if he’s a stay at home dad, I don’t see the issue. Everyone gets burnt out, and if you can swing it financially then i really don’t see an issue. 
But, if the kids will be staying with their current child care provider, and he’ll just be home with no responsibilities, I wouldn’t be pleased. 
Maybe have a conversation as to why he wants time off. If it’s nothing more than “just to be fair” he’s being childish. But if there’s a deeper reason, maybe getting to the bottom of it instead of getting angry would be a better option.

Answer

I mean you only stayed home because you had nobody else to look after the kids, right? 
If the kids are being looked after in childcare or school he doesn’t need to stay home. 
He needs to grow up. This isn’t how relationships work. He isn’t being supportive and he isn’t encouraging you to work. He doesn’t need to rely on you. The kids relied on you when you were at home. He just wants to be immature and lazy.

Answer

You can tell him you both can bills, save money together in case of any emergencies, maybe a family vacation. Maybe for a better living or transportation situation. If he wants to stay home then he can watch the baby! If he wants to stay home then he needs to realize if their way an emergency and you were financially prepared then not to blame you. 
You didn’t sit at home bc you had a choice, if you had a choice you would have worked from the beginning like he did

Answer

Hhmmm, my husband and I have always talked about how if he ever needs a break that I'll take over work and he can watch the kids. I personally don't see anything wrong with that. If hes taken care of things this far I don't see why not if it's possible. I'vealwayswantedmy husband to see how difficult it is to stay-at-home. But I can see why it would be smart to have 2 ppl working obviously it's more money. You can save up faster. But maybe he just wants to know that you'd be willing to do the same thing for him that he did for you.

Answer

This only makes sense if he’s going to be watching the kids & being a stay at home dad. But if you’re still paying for daycare provider then no, it doesn’t make sense. 
It doesn’t really make sense anyway why he would think that’s a good idea because the only reason you wanted him to help out was because you didn’t have daycare for the children. Now that you do, he still needs to work in order to help continue to pay his bills & yours. That’s how it works.

Answer

Do you all have a budget and a plan? Are you all trying to set goals to have an emergency fund, purchase home, etc.  Maybe try to talk to him about setting financial goals and the benefit of yall working to accomplish them. That is so childish though and honestly makes it seem like u have a man child.

Answer

It be alot easier if yous both worked etc, at least you know yous can provide for your kids etc and even save for future trips, goals etc. Im a stay at home mum currently pregnant with 3rd bub (24w2d) and would love to work when i know my bub is safe to go to day care , just so my partner and i can have more income coming in for holiday trips etc..

Answer

Ummm no. 😮

Am I wrong here?

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