Trigger warning.. (Miscarriage) How can I help a friend?

Question

I won’t go into detail, because it’s not my story to tell. I have a close friend dealing with a second, second trimester loss. I just don’t know what to say or to do to offer comfort. My heart breaks for her and her family. I’m looking for advice on ways to help! 
I’m posting anonymously because like I said it’s not my story to tell and I don’t want to put it out there, I’m sorry if posting this anonymous isn’t allowed, if that’s the case please feel free to remove.

Answer

From someone who has gone through three second trimester losses there isn’t anything you or anyone else could say to make the pain and grief go away. 
It is soul destroying. Absolutely devastating. Her world has stopped while everyone else’s keeps going. 
Honestly there is nothing you can do. She needs to navigated through this fucked up journey on her own and I’m sure when she needs your support she will reach out. 
I have dissociated myself with my bestest friends because they wouldnt give me the time or space that I needed and still need actually. 
Just let her know that you are there for her whenever she is wanting to talk or reach out. Bear in mind the first time she reaches out will be the most awkward for her so please be as normal as possible. The worst part of it all is when people treat you differently when all you want is to be treated like a normal person .... even through she will never be “normal” again.

Answer

I didn’t want to talk to anyone but everyone kept calling to check on me and it honestly made it so much worse. I would just let her be for now.

Answer

Be there for her. 
I felt alone. Even if it's just a hey, I was thinking about you today text. 
I had a great uncle who lit a candle every day at mass for our twins...and just knowing that made me feel so good inside. 
My mom was there every day when my husband couldn't be there. They didn't leave me alone, but I also had bad anxiety and depression before the loss so they were pretty worried about my mental health as well. 
Our friends sent us a gift card that we could spend at a few of our favorite restaurants, which was amazing because neither of us ever wanted to cook. Crying was what I spent a lot of days doing with little to no energy. 
Pray for her if you believe in it.

Answer

I would give her time and space right now 
She’s probably being bombarded with condolences from people that will only exacerbate the grief 
I think it would be great to send her a text and just let her know youre there for her if she needs to talk, cry or even scream in anger. But you also understand if she’d like some space at this time but you’re there for her. 
And leave it at that. Let her come to you when she’s ready because she’s probably dealing with overwhelming grief and sometimes everyone texting and checking in and saying sorry just feels like salt in the wound

Trigger warning.. (Miscarriage) How can I help a friend?

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