My boyfriend of 7 years and I haven’t had sex in over a year and a half. We are only 22 and he’s on like 5 antidepressants. We have also both been through A LOT in our personal lives in this past year and a half. I have gained a lot of weight and my boyfriend is overcoming addiction.

My boyfriend still hugs/kisses/cuddles me all of the time and is physically affectionate. But every time I tried to initiate sex he would turn me down, so I just stopped. I recently found out he’s been looking at and saving pictures of naked pornstars to his phone, and that sometimes when he says he is “pooping” he’s actually looking at naked pictures while I am in the other room (we do not live together, he did this while I was hanging out with him). I confronted him and asked him if he hasn’t wanted sex with me because of my weight gain. He got offended and said he would “fuck me at any weight,” that he never once thought anything bad about my weight and he likes me thicker, and that he can’t believe I think he’s that shallow. He said it’s hard for him to keep an erection because of his medication and that I never let him see me naked so it makes it even harder to stay hard.

I just feel like he doesn’t even see me as a sexual being anymore. It actually feels awkward. We cuddle, kiss and hug but he never touches me in my private areas. He tells me I look sexy and that we need to “have sex soon” but doesn’t push it any further. I wore a revealing shirt today and he didn’t even look at my boobs. I feel super unsexy and don’t know how much longer I can go without sex.

I really love him but I’m feeling neglected. I probably wouldn’t care so much if it weren’t for the fact I know he’s still getting horny because of the pictures I found. Would you break up or try to make things work first?