I feel bad my mom friend is so unhappy, is always crying and feels hopeless. Her husband hasn’t worked since 2017 and lost his job 5 months before their baby was born. She herself is not working and watches the baby. Her father who she has a poor relationship with stays in her guesthouse so she has to take care of him. But she says he wasn’t a very good dad. He was a dismissive parent, a drunk and never supported her emotionally as a child so there’s some resentment. Her mother committed suicide when she young and took her brother’s life as well so she has no family support- no siblings, no parental support. She told me she feels her husband isn’t too motivated to find work. He is a creative director. So I offered to review his resume since I’m in HR. When I helped give him advice, she begged me to get him to sit down with me and I actually type it out for him otherwise he will never do it. That was sad because as an adult, one should be motivated to do things themselves. I offered to do it anyways. I thought of maybe helping send job applications everyday and see what happens.

I told her maybe she needs to be the breadwinner and she said, she’s the one who cares for her baby and father. I recommended maybe she gets a paying job but she only wants to be a film director which I think it’s too easy to breakthrough and won’t generate money immediately. So that felt like a dead end.

She said she regrets marrying her husband but she’s also afraid of raising her child alone without money. She fears that if she leaves her husband, he’ll resort to drinking. He used to drink and do drugs long time ago and she got him off that. Her husband is actually sweet, he cooks and does the housework, shops but it’s like when it comes to professional work, that’s a a struggle. I asked her what made her marry her husband if she is regretting now. She admitted that she has low self esteem and having a bad relationship with her father who was an actor (he was always dismissive, a drunk, and wasn’t involved in her daily life as a child). They’ve all had a good education, gone to good schools but it’s like..... I don’t know how to help my friend come out of this dark pit. She’s just always crying, is always sensitive, sad, feels hopeless