Conflicted and surprised about feelings about weight gain

So I gained weight guys, my bmi is now in the middle of overweight and if I gain another 8 pounds or so I will then be in the obese category.

I'm a UK size 12 but my clothing is starting to get tight so I'll have to lose a little

Though I'm conflicted, because I am surprised that I actually like how my body looks more now as a larger lady. I didn't expect to feel this way, I've been at a healthy bmi my entire life until now. Is this because more people nowadays are larger so I feel like I fit in now or something? Even though I like how I look now it isn't good for my health but its weird because I know I look less attractive now or something... I'm grateful for you guys input, thanks!