Inexperienced, but want to learn more...how?

Question

Can I have some advice please. I'm from the UK, I'm 22 years old and know what I like......but the problem is well how do I say it... I'm a virgin. I do watch and I read and I observe - for the most part I'm an introvert. In theory I'm pretty sure I would be a bratty submissive. How in the hell do I meet a potential dom safely? I am an anxious person but I want to get out there. Please can someone from the UK help. :)

Answer

I think it would probably be easiest to try to look into your local kink scene through fetlife. You can talk to people from all around the world, role play a little bit online, and maybe try to find someone around you. You seem pretty safety-minded, but here’s a few rules I try to follow when meeting people online for the first time. (1) text for a few weeks. Start talking on something like kik or whatsapp. Talk about a bunch of different subjects. Get to know them as a person. (2) get their actual phone number. Start talking on the phone or FaceTiming/Skyping. Talk for at least another week on the phone. (3) make plans to meet in a public place for a quick coffee. Make sure it’s quick. If you’re not getting good vibes, you’ll be able to dip pretty soon after. If you’re getting great vibes, there’ll be more excitement for next time. Make sure whenever you meet in person that someone (a friend/family member knows where you are, who you’re with, a picture of them, etc). (4) schedule a lunch or walk in a public park during daytime. Get to know each other more. Still make sure this is in public and where there are many people around. (5) maybe repeat getting lunch/dinner a few times until you’re comfortable. (6) pursue the possibility of getting a hotel room or going to one of your places. 
The main things I’d watch out for: (1) if he says “I’d love to cook for you. Why don’t you come over” before you’ve actually gone out for lunch/dinner in a public place. Never meet with someone who doesn’t want to meet in public first. (2) someone who doesn’t want to go through all the steps first. It might “just be sex” but it’s super important that you’re covering your bases in terms of safety and comfort. You/they might not be looking to date, but sex isn’t something you should be cutting corners for. (3) don’t include kink in your first time. No handcuffs, no choking, no spanking, etc. Your first time should be gentle, comfortable, careful, and it should feel absolutely safe. Adding power dynamics in so soon will not play out well. Start talking about adding kink in after maybe 3-4 times having sex with them. There are plenty of ways to enjoy dominance and submission without the use of force or implements.

Answer

Fetlife is a huge worldwide community of kinksters. I’m sure you could find a casual munch to get out there and meet some people

Inexperienced, but want to learn more...how?

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