Drove 2200 mi to escape abusive mom, turns out I was going to an abusive friend

I feel like there needs to be an account of what happened so that if anything comes up, I have the (actual) story on hand. This is a long one so I apologize! Haha

March 12th, 2021

I told my best friend that I felt uncomfortable with the things being said to me where I was living. We talked for awhile about how it affected me and she began tearing up when she said “come live here”. She already had a room set up (not specifically for me) and said I could stay there. She even showed me pictures of the room. She said “my friend asked if my landlord would care about an extra roommate, and I told my friend that I have a lease where it doesn’t matter if I have another roommate” (this is paraphrasing as I don’t remember the exact words used).

After crying for a moment and thanking her for helping me out of a stressful situation, I asked about my two cats. She said “we just have to hide them from my landlord” and then I asked if she had carpet because I didn’t want to mess up her place and she said no.

I had four hours to pack by my own choice. I would call my friend on breaks and tell her my progress. We talked about what it would be like to live together and our quirks.

I then started driving over 2,200 miles and three days to get to North Carolina from Utah.

March 13th-14th, 2021

As I drove I talked to a lot of people on the phone in order to stay awake. I stopped at a hotel once and otherwise slept in my car.

March 15th, 2021

I got to my friend’s town in North Carolina at about 3am. She told me she had a guy friend staying over which I was fine with. When I got to her house she hugged me, we talked for about half hour, and then we went to bed. The next day every time we talked, it was about this guy or he was in the conversation. I felt very misled because I just drove a lot to meet this person and she could seem to care less that I was here. I then spoke to her about it and she stated that she would try harder and I agreed to as well.

March 16th, 2021

She and I went to an escape room with my the guy and his family and had an awesome time. After the event, he started getting anxious because he wanted to buy a beer (dude is clearly an alcoholic but not trying to change it). So my friend tells him she’d prefer he didn’t. They ended up arguing, at which point she was instigating him getting more upset in a very subtle way. I got anxious so I stepped out of the car to have a cigarette. After dropping him off at his house, she came home and said that she only wants to be friends with him and cannot continue a dating-style relationship. I validated her and said that I agreed that was the right choice.

March 17th, 2021

She got home from work and we hung out. At one point in the night I told her I was in love with her because she gave me good things, and I wanted to do the same for her.

She said she didn’t want to date and I said that was OK and that we could continue on as normal because I’d rather her be in my life as a friend than not at all.

We also talked this night about the kind of furniture I would like to buy for our place and she said “let me help you pay for it so that I can contribute”

March 18th, 2021

When she got home from work she was very anxious because she had decided to cut things off with the guy for good. I tried to help her through the anxiety by treating it like the flu. I brought her soup, I brought her a blanket, I brought her a drink. At one point she started screaming at me that she didn’t want the blanket or the soup. I apologized.

She then began getting very upset because I would try to talk her down from a panic attack. I eventually told her “I’m not helping so I’m going to go lay down”.

I cried myself to sleep.

March 19th, 2021

She decided to call out of work this day because of the anxiety from the night before.

I met her son and had the best time with him. We played and hung out. She and I talked about a chest of drawers in the living room so we could have games and such in it. I bought curtains for her door and windows and she would tell me it was all perfect.

March 20th, 2021

We went to the store with her son to pick up a few things and she was still feeling quite anxious. He wasn’t allowed to make noise because it would set her off.

I later went on a date and spent the night out.

March 21st, 2021

I woke up to a text stating that our living arrangement would not work long term, and that I had 2-4 weeks to leave. I was told that she didn’t like lying to her landlord. She also said (not directly, but it was absolutely implied) that I was the reason for her calling out of work on the 19th.

I got home and texted her to say I was glad she found the thing that made her feel better through the anxiety, but I did feel hurt and upset because she told me that the cats and me living there would be OK.

She then told me that I didn’t ask about the cats until I was already on the road and that she always said that her landlord did not appreciate another roommate. I remember every detail of the day I left the city I’ve lived my entire life in. I said “I hope you’re not trying to gaslight me”.

She came home and said “I just read your text, no I’m not gaslighting you that is how it happened” and I said “it’s not though” and she started getting angry so I just said “sure”. It wasn’t the most respectful way I will admit but she immediately started getting upset saying “you can always leave my house”.

She muttered something under her breath as she left and I cried. I sent a text saying I was sorry that the only thing I did outside of what she asked, was try to comfort her when I thought she needed it.

She called and said that she would never allow anyone to speak to her in such a way, and that I would need to be out in 2-4 weeks. I said OK. She then said I needed to be away from her for the rest of the night because she doesn’t deescalate well.

I began looking for places as I hung up the phone. She then texted my mom saying she now didn’t believe any of what I had said before she offered to let me move in, and that she never planned on me living with her.

I posted on Facebook “imagine being a complete fucking liar 🤡🤡”. Not my best moment but I was pretty upset. When she got home she said I had 2 weeks.

I then posted “imagine being completely insane 🤡🤡” again, not my finest moment. She came over to my room and pushed my shoulder quite rough and said “you need to exit my home. You can either leave voluntarily or be forcibly removed” so I packed up my things and my cats.

She told me to leave the key when I was done. As I finished I forgot the key and began driving away. When she called me numerous times I turned back around and left it in the driveway.

I told her it was there and she threatened to file a police report because the key was not on her porch, and she gave me an hour. She then held my medication and said she would only give it back if I brought the key.

March 22nd, 2021

I spent the night in a pet friendly hotel and finally finished writing this.

This is actually what happened.