He flat out doesn't have the patience to help with the kids. I kept thinking that he just didn't want to because its work... but really, its that he isn't capable of this level of selflessness.

He doesn't help with ANY of the childcare. Nothing at all, unless i specifically ask him to take the baby so I can bathe our toddler. He gets annoyed so quickly at them. He is always so miserable every single second that he has to take the baby - unless she's asleep and all he has to do is bounce her in her chair. He gets really irrationally annoyed the second our toddler starts making any kind of unhappy noise. He sends our six year old off to do chores anytime they're in the same room. He runs for the garage (his man cave) absolutely as soon as he possibly can get out of baby duty. As soon as he comes home from work he goes straight out to his garage and I don't see him until after the kids are in bed.

Its not just that he doesn't want to help with them. Its that he's incapable of dealing with it. He can't handle it.

This realization has brought me to two conclusions.

1. I need to stop expecting him to step up and be an involved Dad. He isn't ever going to. Period.

2. I've been feeling inadequate for SO LONG because I feel like no matter how hard I work, I can never live up to his expectations for the housework/cooking/laundry. But the reality is that HE DOESNT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO MY JOB. Its HIM who is inadequate and can't do it, not me. I'm a fucking super mom.

I've been dealing with some pretty bad PPD and feeling so worthless. This realization has given me so much of my self worth back. Its not that I'm not good enough for him... HE'S not good enough to do what I do!