Confused

Hey ladies😘

So today is day 4 no period. I took a test yesterday and of course it said “ negative “ 🤧 have any of you ever been in a situation like this? Should I still keep hope alive? I am 35, gods willing/Insha’Allah I’ll be 36 in July! I’m just confused and yes I do want a beautiful baby girl.

I was so afraid to have a little girl due to the fact, when I was younger I had a very bad childhood and my mom and I didn’t have a relationship at all. When I had my son, who’s now 14 her and I relationship has flourished. I love my mom sooooo much she’s my little shortie😍. He life choices made me Acadians to have a little girl which I know I would always strive to be the best mother to my children I can be. I still had a little fear in the back of my mind.

I would not allow myself to abandon my daughter or my son, these were my thoughts off and on. Now I’m nervous because yes I wanted another baby, then I said no. My big babe ( my boyfriend) he’s a grandfather now with another on the way. So I’m very scared but I want my little girl.

Any thoughts ??