I need advice ):

So my sister’s wedding is in two weeks. It’s on a small island called Vieques just off of the main land of Puerto Rico. I live in maryland. I’ll have to fly from here to San Juan. And then take a small charter plane from there to the smaller island. I’m supposed to be the one marrying them, and opening the ceremony. I’ll be 7 months pregnant. I am absolutely terrified of flying. I always have a horrible feeling that I’m going to friggin die and I have panic attacks on every flight. I’ve been flying all my life and I’ve obviously survived every flight lol but I still panic the same every time. And I lose sleep every night suffering mini panic attacks for weeks leading up to every flight.

I was originally supposed to only fly into San Juan and then take a ferry ride to the smaller island but protestors are blocking ferry travel. Which is why I’ll have to take the smaller plane.

On top of me being terrified and not wanting to risk dying in a plane crash before I get to birth my daughter, I know a lot of women aren’t traveling while pregnant right now for any reason. When my sister was pregnant she wouldn’t go to Puerto Rico with us because of Zika. My baby daddy also said half of this baby is his and he doesn’t give me permission to fly because I’m “too far along” and I need to stay home.

The thing that’s calling me is that my brother is suffering debilitating spinal issues and can’t attend the wedding. My other sister is living in Italy and isn’t allowed to travel so she won’t be at the wedding. So if I don’t go, none of my sister’s siblings will be at her wedding and the thought of that breaks my fucking heart because I know it breaks hers. I can’t imagine getting married and none of my siblings be there.

What would you do?

I know if I don’t I’ll think about it for the rest of my life ): and always feel horrible that I Wasn’t there for her. This is really eating me up