Anyone have an odd relationship with their mom?

Kinda venting here. TW(brief sexual abuse mentioned)I get frustrated with my mom, its like a bittersweet relationship. I love my mom and we are very close, but at the same time every phone conversation is almost always a small argument. We talk at least an hour a day but disagree on a LOT of things. I think she is very insecure, negative, no self-respect, and also close minded. She always thinks Im playing the devils advocate in everything, and Im a bit of a b*tch. I do have a very straight forward personality but also very open minded and like to use logic in a lot of situations, not my feelings.

TW PART: I was sexually abused by my step dad growing up, and my mom was sexually abused by her Dad growing up. And i think back on things how she reacted when she found out about me, how she ignored all the signs I showed up to that point. Its not her fault but I feel like the signs were so obvious and there for someone that had experienced it herself. When I finally spoke up at 12, she had me to describe my step dads penis to her so she knew I was being truthful and not just trying to “be like her” because she was abused too.

As life went on her boyfriends came first I was always last, I was left home alone in the middle of the night Id wake up to her gone when I was in middle school. In high school she would leave for days on end. We moved around so much I went to 12 different schools middle-high school. As an adult I see through her BS a lot more and actually get annoyed when I hear her whine/cry about her current bf. Regardless of everything, I still love my mom. And I also consider myself a pretty successful working adult because I try not to let the past effect how I live. She lives 8hours away from me and always talk about how much she misses my family and often says she is coming to visit. She says my kids are so special to her more than her other grandkids. But anytime I say I could use help with potty training since my husband works A LOT. She wont come help. I told her my husband and both have work 3 days later this month and our babysitters are busy. She wont offer to help, maybe if I paid her $200-300 but even then no guarantee. She was going to come vsisit this weekend but told me she suddenly “didnt feel good” and couldnt travel alone in her condition. Reality is she couldnt convince her bf to come with her so she made an excuse not to come. My husband and I know to never count on her to visit until she is actually on the road because she pulls this all the time! I get sooo annoyed with her(though I dont tell her that) I dont name call her or anything of that nature. I know some day Ill miss my mom when she is gone and feel guilty for being hard on her sometimes.

I just wish I had a supportive mom like I see all my friends have, moms traveling just to help their daughter. Just be a mom. She tells me she wishes we could go shopping at the mall together and do lunch like mother and daughters do. But I just cant because she gets on my nerves so easily, like I try, but I end up annoyed. Maybe I feel she is more or a friend than a mom... Its such an odd relationship. Im frustrated, and pregnant(hormonal).