Fear and Denial

I'm having a hard time believing this is real.

I'm about 8 weeks pregnant and I've had two very normal scans with heartbeat, but somehow, I'm just so convinced it's not going to work out. Does anyone else live in constant fear of pregnancy loss?

Background: my husband and I tried for 6 months before getting our first positive pregnancy test 4 years ago. That turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. After going on progesterone, I got pregnant and gave birth to our amazing, healthy daughter.

She's now 2.5 and we decided to try again, but not very seriously. I became pregnant our first cycle. It all feels "too easy". My due date is a month before my 40th birthday and the stats on miscarriage are just so depressing at this age. I just don't believe it will stick. My husband wants to tell our friends and family, but I want to wait as long as possible, maybe until after a 20 week scan.

How can I shake this feeling of doom and connect with the new baby growing inside me? I feel guilty not being happy, but so afraid to get excited.

Thanks!