AITA? Toddler discipline

My husband and I have 2 very different approaches to parenting. I’m more gentle, letting him make messes and do things, and trying to talk him through a tantrum before resorting to other things. My husband on the other hand, is pretty patient for the most part, but all he does for discipline is time outs and spankings. Keep in mind our son is only almost 2, but on the other hand, his temper tantrums are AWFUL. I’m talking screaming at the top of his lungs. It doesn’t help my case that he behaves so much worse with me and seems to respect my husband more. But I refuse to spank my child.

Anyway, my son was throwing an absolute fit tonight (grandma had him today and he only napped for maybe half an hour in the car). My husband took him into his room to let him scream in there. He came back to the kitchen and said “Don’t you go in there with him before I say so or I’ll leave”. Not leave as in leave me in general, just leave the house because he’d be pissed off.

I was LIVID. I told him all he had to do was say “please don’t go in there before I do, I want to handle this”. To be fair, I was pissed off and said this pretty shitty. He got up and said “you can sit in here by yourself then”.

So, I got up and left. I figured if he wanted to leave because he was pissed off, I’d just do it for him.

Am I the asshole? I don’t think I should’ve just left, but this whole thing where we seem to be on different sides of parenting is really killing us. What do I do? I think he feels like the way I do things is the way it is and he can’t parent.