Hello☺️ So needing some wise advice from ladies here and just a bit of reassurance I guess.

In November 2020, I was on BC but had only recently started taking it after being on the rod for 5 years. Because I was new to it and not used to having to take a pill a day, I accidentally forgot some days and just ‘double dosed’ when I remembered, as I thought this was okay. Well....I fell pregnant. My partner & I were really shocked but decided to keep the baby and I was over the moon with excitement. However unfortunately just a couple of days later I started to bleed and had an early miscarriage.

That experience had been one of the hardest I have had to endure. Ever since, I have been suffering from depression and was recently put on Zoloft (anti-depressant). The past month we have had a lot of life events occur that have made me incredibly stressed (sudden need to move house, started a new job, dad been sick). Because of all of this, it made my depression worse and because of that, I have been slack again with taking my pill. I have so many thoughts through my head and some days it’s an effort to just get out of bed. I know this is still not an excuse though and is incredibly stupid, selfish and irresponsible, and I feel awful.

Well I have just found out I’m pregnant again. It’s been just 6 months since the miscarriage. I feel as though this is like my second chance? I know that sounds silly but I really do. However, my boyfriend is going to be really shocked and upset I think. He doesn’t want kids for another year or so, but he’s an amazing partner and was incredibly supportive when I was pregnant in November. He said he would support me with whatever decision I made (even though I’m sure he secretly wished I would get an abortion, but he would NEVER tell me that or force me to).

I am just so scared to tell him. I feel very embarrassed and ashamed that I’ve fallen pregnant again due to my stupidness and irresponsible behaviour. I’m worried he’s going to be angry with me, even though I know deep down he’s not like that, he will be understanding, but I’m just embarrassed to tell him and scared of him being disappointed with me.

Any women go through something similar? Thank you ❤️