Really hurt rn 🥺🥺🥺

Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years and I’ve found porn on his phone at least four times in the past year. Well I’ve found it again today and he denies denies denies I really have to drill him for like 20 minutes to get anything out of him. He finally admitted it like I didn’t already know. And I tried to leave he held me back from leaving blocked my car door so I couldn’t get in my car and was arguing with me in front of our house. And I tried to grab my phone that he had been borrowing that he had been watching porn on. And he kept snatching it away from me. Also I’m just really hurt that the whole time I’m going through these miscarriages he’s just watching pornography while I’m gone. He called me a bitch and got in my face. And I just don’t know what to do I left for the night and went to go stay at my moms house I know I need to leave but I just really don’t want to because I hate change and I just really care about him and I worry about him and I have no friends and I hate being alone. I hate men. 😩😭