I have a 5 month old, we were on birth control plus wearing condoms and somehow idk how I got pregnant. I think I’m about 4-5 weeks along. I want another baby eventually. But our daughter is a hard baby, she’s had super bad colic. And just it’s been tough. I’m finally started to get a hold of things and feeling like a good mom to her. Baby and her would be just over a year apart and I feel awful. I wanted more time just my daughter and I, to enrich her, for her to have all my attention. And idk how I’d take care of a one year old and a newborn. Like financially we can. And I can... it would just be so hard. And I’m not ready. I don’t feel comfortable getting an abortion. I’m trying to tell myself this baby is obviously meant to be if it came despite all the measures to prevent it, and I know I will survive if it does. But am I horrible that I think after the sadness fades I’ll be a little relived if I have a miscarriage. 😩😓 did anyone else feel this way? I’m also scared of issues I could have with these babies so close. We didn’t want a baby so close because I had a rough pregnancy, I had HG, my whole pregnancy. Cholestasis, and during birth I almost died when my placenta abrupted and then my daughter spent a month in the NICU after being life flighted right after birth. I didn’t get to hold her for weeks. So I think I have some PTSD. Not to mention her being a covid baby and missing out on a lot of things. I really wanted to be in a better position for this babe. And be healthier 😔