I need advice.

No judgement please.

I am 9 weeks pregnant and I have a 4 year old. I have a boyfriend of 6 months that I’m pregnant by. I’m having really bad migraines and I’m extremely depressed. I don’t wanna be pregnant at all. I cry all the time and I had really bad complications with my last pregnancy and I just can’t do it all over again. I just really enjoyed just me and my son a lot.

My bf is extremely happy but I’m not. I barely talk to him because I always feel sick and I just don’t feel like I connect with him. I wanted to take things really slow and he’s in a rush for everything. I love him but I’m not in love with him at all. I’ve been single for 3 years and I felt like I should’ve gave myself time to date me more.

My last relationship lasted about 3 years. My first pregnancy and such. I do miss him but we don’t get along and we both moved on and we both are just coparenting. This ex asked me for sex in Jan and I told him no because I am with someone and I value myself more than that and if I wasn’t with someone he’s with someone . But he always tries to cheat on her with me and he cheated on me with her and I left him. He use to tell his family we just need time apart and we will probably get back together. So now someone is in the picture he’s taking me to court about his kid when I don’t even keep him away.

I’m depressed about all of this. I don’t know what to do. I care and love the guy I’m with but I just don’t wanna be with him I wanna be alone