Last Friday on the 14th we found out that our baby has stopped growing at 8 weeks and 4 days are we were experiencing a missed miscarriage. Something I've never experienced before. My doctor gave me three options 1. wait and see if my body will notice and start the process on its own, 2. Take pills that make my body start it, or 3. A D&C. We chose 2. Take the pills.

I waited til Monday and got a second opinion before I took them. Hoping my body would tell me it was true. Monday morning they confirmed and that evening at 7pm I took the pills. Feeling grief remorse and guilt that I was taking pills to force my baby out. At 9pm before I laid down I noticed a weird discharge on my pad and knew they was working. I woke up at 2:30 to pee and I had started bleeding with clots. And again at 4:30am to pass a liver like clot the size of my hand. Not knowing that my baby was in it. I woke at 5:30 when my husband got up for work because I bled through a pad and when I got up to check i passed another large clot and told my husband I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to keep passing that big of clots. I woke up again at 7 am and had bled through another pad and passed my 3rd large clot. At 8 I called my doctor's office to ask them if it was supposed to be like this and they told me no that I needed to come in and get checks. So I put a 10-hour overnight pad on and my husband came home from work and took me to my OBGYN. (I filled that pad and leaked thro it in an hour and a half) Feeling weak nauseous and terrified. When we got there he performed an examination to see how much bleeding and to see if he could pull some of the tissue out himself to help slow down the bleeding. he did what he could they did an ultrasound to find there was still a lot of tissue left and he recommended that I did a D&C because he was afraid that I would lose too much blood before I passed all the tissue. There were puppy pads in the examination room with blood all over them, three small cups of tissue from my cervix, and bloody tools in the sink. to be honest it was a little traumatic seeing so much blood like a horror movie. So my husband takes me to the hospital just right down the street from my OB where they did a covid test and took blood and when they took my blood I passed out. I was so weak I could barely get up to pee. But I was unable to eat or drink anything. Finally around noon they got me in pre-op and got me an iv in and got me nausea medicine. At 1pm they put me under and and preformed the D&C and I was out of the hospital by 2pm. Today my body is so sore and my heart feels empty. Things when from bad to worse so quickly. And I never thought it would be me. I'm thankful I have such an amazing husband but I feel alone in this. I'm not sure how to start grieving or what to do. Idk how to tell people how I am feeling bc there are so many things.

Thanks for letting me rant about this.

May 14th- I was supposed to be 11 weeks 1 day but he only measured at 8 weeks 4 days and there was no heart beat.

May 17th- me and my husband at the er to get a second opinion on the baby's heart beat. I knew there was such a slight chance my dr office was wrong but I had to be sure before I took the pills. Not bleeding kept me in denial.

May 18th- i felt so tired and weak. Standing up made me so dizzy I would nearly pass out if I stood more than a min or two.