Am I delusional ?

About 17 years ago I met this guy. We had an intimate relationship with each other, we loved each other but we never expressed it to one another for whatever reason. After dealing with each other for about a year or so I moved to another state. We remained friends and stayed in contact with each other everyday consistently. I can’t remember what happened as to why we we stopped talking but I know for a fact we didn’t have an argument. (My mom ended up having a stroke and I think I just stopped answering my phone to focus on my mom and her health).

Fast forward to 2019, I spoke to a mutual friend of ours and I asked for (let’s call him by his initial) J’s number. The mutual friend got back to me with J’s number and I contacted him. We spoke everything seemed cool. I said to him “Tell me something I don’t know” he blurted out “I was in love with you but was being stupid). After that I stopped hearing from him. (All the while he still didn’t know that I was in love with him either). I called, texted, FaceTimed and nothing so I stopped and a year later he reached out to me on what’s app.

We spoke but the communication was still very spaced out but nothing like 2019. All of a sudden 2021 in February we became close again, as close as we were 16,17 years ago.

We discussed being in a relationship but since we live in two different states (which I planned on moving before I started to talk to J again)

We decided to see each other first then take steps into moving forward with a relationship or whatever.

I’ve expressed to him that I don’t like the inconsistency that he’s giving me with phone calls, text messages etc. He started being more attentive (not attentive as you would think but still very off and on). Now the communication is one sided if I don’t reach out I hear nothing from him. Yet he tells me that he loves me and can’t wait to see me. Am I delusional because I feel like I’m putting too much into something that seems unsure already.

Should I just leave him alone and move on with my life or should I find out what the issue is?

I mean I’ve asked him before what the issue is but he just says he’s tired which I understand because he is in the process of buying a home and he’s transferred jobs (USPS) he lost 21 years of seniority due to the move for his house. He’s also been living in a hotel since March.

Yes I know he has a lot on his plate but let’s keep in mind that he decided to make me his “girlfriend” even after we discussed waiting until we see each other. Ughhhh I’m confused but when I try talking to him he makes it seem as though I am nagging. Does anyone on here have any suggestions on how to approach him the next time we speak?

Thanks in advance because at this point I am ready to throw in the towel and be done